Director: Patrick Lussier
Cast: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsey Rue, Edi Gathegi, Tom Atkins, Kevin Tighe, Megan Boone
RunTime: 1 hr 41 mins
Released By: Shaw
Rating: M18 (Violence & Nudity)
Official Website: http://www.mybloodyvalentinein3d.com/
Opening Day: 26 February 2009
years ago, a tragedy changed the town of Harmony forever.
Tom Hanniger, an inexperienced coal miner, caused an accident
in the tunnels that trapped and killed five men and sent the
only survivor, Harry Warden, into a permanent coma. But Harry
Warden wanted revenge. Exactly one year later, on Valentine's
Day, he woke up...and brutally murdered twenty-two people
with a pickaxe before being killed.
Ten years later, Tom Hanniger returns to Harmony on Valentine's
Day, still haunted by the deaths he caused. Struggling to
make amends with his past, he grapples with unresolved feelings
for his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, who is now married to his best
friend, Axel, the town sheriff. But tonight, after years of
peace, something from Harmony's dark past has returned. Wearing
a miner's mask and armed with a pickaxe, an unstoppable killer
is on the loose. And as his footsteps come ever closer, Tom,
Sarah and Axel realize in terror that it just might be Harry
Warden who's come back to claim them...
The original 1981 Canadian picture “My Bloody Valentine”
was remembered fondly for its genuinely brutal thrills- Quentin
Tarantino himself declaring it his fave slasher flick of all
time. In remaking this cult classic, director Patrick Lussier
has done two things right.
he has not messed with the old-school horror stylings that
so defined the original and the wave of slasher films of its
time (like Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(1974), John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) and Friday
the 13th (1980)) Just as its original therefore, be prepared
for plenty of gore and all assorted viscera on screen. Eyeballs,
jawbones, blood and boobs, Patrick Lussier uses traditional
Hollywood horror prosthetics to recreate the original’s
authentic spirit of unflinching grisliness.
he has used modern 3D technology to great effect in making
sure that the characters’ fear, dread and downright
terror becomes your own. It’s not enough that someone’s
lower jaw was just recently dislodged by a shovel. You have
to follow the shovel as it pierces through the victim’s
throat and severs it from the rest of the body. It’s
not enough that someone just got struck in the head. You have
to see the disgourged eyeball and its muscle extend slowly
to forget of course the wheezing gas-masked villain wielding
his favourite weapon of choice- a pickaxe that’s put
to judicious use in dissecting one’s torso and ripping
out your heart. Yes, had you gone and thought this Valentine
was going to be anywhere near romantic, the sight of a disembowelled
heart nestled in one of those blood-red, heart-shaped chocolate
boxes will certainly be enough to convince you that this is
anything but so.
from the time you widen your eyes at the first body part comes
flying at you, you’ll be convinced that Patrick Lussier’s
“My Bloody Valentine 3D” is one effective blend
of the old and the new. And thankfully it manages to be- because
the rest of this movie is unfortunately let down by some of
the most wooden acting I can recall on display in a movie.
list of mainly TV actors- Jensen Ackles (Supernatural), Jaime
King (Kitchen Confidential) and Kerr Smith (Justice)- who
headline this movie probably should have stayed on the goggle
box. Their performances range from bland (Ackles) to the downright
atrocious (King). In particular, one wonders if King took
a blow to the head from the pickaxe before filming, so much
so that it knocked the life out of her.
just as badly is the script by Todd Farmer (The Messengers,
Jason X) and Zane Smith. Not even the 3D effects can distract
your attention from some of the terrible lines in the movie.
Coupled with the appalling acting even by the standards of
a low-budget horror, it suffices to say that they unintentionally
but undoubtedly add to the dread permeating the movie.
is an even bigger shame- given that veteran Wes Craven editor/collaborator
Patrick Lussier has certainly picked up enough tricks from
the master to make a competent 2D feature. Whether in 2D or
3D, the movie has a fine sense of pacing, especially during
the numerous chase scenes. Through the woods, street alleys
or supermarket alleys, Patrick Lussier knows how to build
the tension and you’ll know it when you feel your heart
pounding in your chest.
you may still be unconvinced to catch this in all its 3D glory,
let me tell you that the film’s funniest sequence is
a ten-minute pursuit the killer engages with a naked, terrified
and very sexy young woman (Betsy Rue) from parking-lot to
hotel-room. And did I mention that the full-frontal nudity
begins with a sex scene?
For the 2D version...
For the 3D version...
(That’s one more star for its gory in full eye-popping
Review by Gabriel Chong