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  Publicity Stills of
"My Bloody Valentine 3D"
(Courtesy of Shaw)

Genre: Horror/Thriller
Director: Patrick Lussier
Cast: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsey Rue, Edi Gathegi, Tom Atkins, Kevin Tighe, Megan Boone
RunTime: 1 hr 41 mins
Released By: Shaw
Rating: M18 (Violence & Nudity)
Official Website: http://www.mybloodyvalentinein3d.com/

Opening Day: 26 February 2009


Ten years ago, a tragedy changed the town of Harmony forever. Tom Hanniger, an inexperienced coal miner, caused an accident in the tunnels that trapped and killed five men and sent the only survivor, Harry Warden, into a permanent coma. But Harry Warden wanted revenge. Exactly one year later, on Valentine's Day, he woke up...and brutally murdered twenty-two people with a pickaxe before being killed.

Ten years later, Tom Hanniger returns to Harmony on Valentine's Day, still haunted by the deaths he caused. Struggling to make amends with his past, he grapples with unresolved feelings for his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, who is now married to his best friend, Axel, the town sheriff. But tonight, after years of peace, something from Harmony's dark past has returned. Wearing a miner's mask and armed with a pickaxe, an unstoppable killer is on the loose. And as his footsteps come ever closer, Tom, Sarah and Axel realize in terror that it just might be Harry Warden who's come back to claim them...

Movie Review:

The original 1981 Canadian picture “My Bloody Valentine” was remembered fondly for its genuinely brutal thrills- Quentin Tarantino himself declaring it his fave slasher flick of all time. In remaking this cult classic, director Patrick Lussier has done two things right.

One, he has not messed with the old-school horror stylings that so defined the original and the wave of slasher films of its time (like Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980)) Just as its original therefore, be prepared for plenty of gore and all assorted viscera on screen. Eyeballs, jawbones, blood and boobs, Patrick Lussier uses traditional Hollywood horror prosthetics to recreate the original’s authentic spirit of unflinching grisliness.

Two, he has used modern 3D technology to great effect in making sure that the characters’ fear, dread and downright terror becomes your own. It’s not enough that someone’s lower jaw was just recently dislodged by a shovel. You have to follow the shovel as it pierces through the victim’s throat and severs it from the rest of the body. It’s not enough that someone just got struck in the head. You have to see the disgourged eyeball and its muscle extend slowly towards you.

Not to forget of course the wheezing gas-masked villain wielding his favourite weapon of choice- a pickaxe that’s put to judicious use in dissecting one’s torso and ripping out your heart. Yes, had you gone and thought this Valentine was going to be anywhere near romantic, the sight of a disembowelled heart nestled in one of those blood-red, heart-shaped chocolate boxes will certainly be enough to convince you that this is anything but so.

Indeed, from the time you widen your eyes at the first body part comes flying at you, you’ll be convinced that Patrick Lussier’s “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is one effective blend of the old and the new. And thankfully it manages to be- because the rest of this movie is unfortunately let down by some of the most wooden acting I can recall on display in a movie.

The list of mainly TV actors- Jensen Ackles (Supernatural), Jaime King (Kitchen Confidential) and Kerr Smith (Justice)- who headline this movie probably should have stayed on the goggle box. Their performances range from bland (Ackles) to the downright atrocious (King). In particular, one wonders if King took a blow to the head from the pickaxe before filming, so much so that it knocked the life out of her.

Faring just as badly is the script by Todd Farmer (The Messengers, Jason X) and Zane Smith. Not even the 3D effects can distract your attention from some of the terrible lines in the movie. Coupled with the appalling acting even by the standards of a low-budget horror, it suffices to say that they unintentionally but undoubtedly add to the dread permeating the movie.

That is an even bigger shame- given that veteran Wes Craven editor/collaborator Patrick Lussier has certainly picked up enough tricks from the master to make a competent 2D feature. Whether in 2D or 3D, the movie has a fine sense of pacing, especially during the numerous chase scenes. Through the woods, street alleys or supermarket alleys, Patrick Lussier knows how to build the tension and you’ll know it when you feel your heart pounding in your chest.

Lest you may still be unconvinced to catch this in all its 3D glory, let me tell you that the film’s funniest sequence is a ten-minute pursuit the killer engages with a naked, terrified and very sexy young woman (Betsy Rue) from parking-lot to hotel-room. And did I mention that the full-frontal nudity begins with a sex scene?

Movie Rating:

For the 2D version...

For the 3D version...

(That’s one more star for its gory in full eye-popping glory)

Review by Gabriel Chong


. The Ferryman (2007)

. Halloween (2007)

. Hannibal Rising (2007)

. The Hitcher (2007)

. Texas Chainsaw Massarce: The Beginning (2006)

. Slither (2006)

. Hostel (2005)


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