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  Publicity Stills of "Love Wrecked"
(Courtesy from Shaw)

Genre: Comedy/Romance
Director: Randal Kleiser
Starring: Amanda Bynes, Chris Carmack, Jonathan Bennett
RunTime: 1 hr 26 mins
Released By: Shaw
Rating: PG
Website: http://www.media8ent.com/m8/movies.asp?movieID=22

Opening Day: 24 August 2006

Synopsis :

On a Caribbean cruise, Jenny (Bynes) is marooned on a beach with her rock and roll idol. Deliriously in love with the idea of time alone with him, she manages to hide the fact that they're a stones throw away from their resort.

Movie Review:

The short version: “Lovewrecked” is about a girl who ends up marooned on a deserted island with her favourite rock star, only to find out later that they’re not marooned.

The long version: “Lovewrecked” is about the impossibly myopic Jenny Riley, who encounters the “rock star” she worships when he visits the holiday resort where she’s working. She stalks him immediately, in the hope that should he fall off a yacht in the middle of a thunderstorm, she would be there to jump right after him, so that they would be marooned together on a deserted island. And whaddya know, it happens, only they aren’t so much on a deserted island as on the other side of the very island they think they’re marooned from. Unfortunately, the moment the lady finds this out is also the moment she realizes she’s a tramp, so she keeps it from the pretty boy, plotting to work her womanly wiles on him so that she may become Mrs. Pretty Boy after the whole ordeal is over.

You think I’m kidding, but I’m really not. There is not one modicum of sense to be found in all 90 minutes of this thankfully short movie. Case in point: how is it that a holiday resort employee’s room winds up bigger than a normal hotel suite? Probably when you’re Amanda Bynes. Neither is there any evidence of thoughtful editing, as scenes bump clumsily into the next without direction or purpose, each arriving as though surprised at having done so. Nor is there any form of credible writing; the dialogue reads like a rejected book of clichés. A rejected book of clichés written by a group of sexually starved sixteen-year-old boys desperately trying to mask their burgeoning libidos with overused sensitive-new-age-guy babble. Add to that their narcissistic attempts at understanding the opposite sex and you get dialogue such as “I know he’s the one,” and “See you around, beautiful.” There is not enough gagging in the world that can appropriately greet the latter quote.

Not even Amanda Bynes’ restless charm, so effortless in “She’s the Man”, could have injected life into this zombie of a movie. Most of the time she just looked bored. It might be interesting to note that Bynes filmed “Lovewrecked” in 2004 and the movie has only been scheduled to open two years later in six unfortunate countries, right after the credible showing of “She’s the Man”. Odds are “Lovewrecked” was probably left unfinished in 2004 but sewn together two hours after “She’s the Man” opened to box office success.

The other actors in the movie were similarly likeable enough but even they looked like they couldn’t believe what they’d gotten themselves into. To be fair, the writers’ running dig at the commercial-crazy entertainment industry was a somewhat clever stroke, but that’s arguably up to interpretation. The million-dollar question: can you trust a movie loaded on fart jokes, fat girl jokes, “saucy” girl-on-girl fights and sexist undertones to be capable of irony? I can’t.

Movie Rating:

(“Lovewrecked” is like “Blue Lagoon” for the MTV age, which is as bad as it sounds and worse. Proceed at own risk)

Review by Angeline Chui


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