EENIE MEANIE (DISNEY+) (2025)

SYNOPSIS: She can get away from anything. Except him.

MOVIE REVIEW:

Eenie Meanie is the nickname of our protagonist, Edie (Samara Weaving), given to her by crime boss Nico (Andy Garcia). On paper, it sounds like a stylish heist flick with a dash of dark comedy. In reality, it ends up cold, frustrating, and yet another lifeless streaming release.

Despite trying to leave her shady past behind, Edie is roped into serving as the getaway driver for a casino heist by her hapless ex-boyfriend, John (Karl Glusman), who has run afoul of Nico. Hoping this will be her final crime spree especially since she’s pregnant with John’s child—Edie reluctantly agrees. But things quickly spiral when their old rival Perm (Marshawn Lynch) muscles into the plan.

The film starts off strong. We see how Edie began her “getaway” career at just 14, followed years later by a hilariously outrageous sequence where a butt-naked John flees his enemies while Edie saves the day from behind the wheel. The tone in these early scenes is wild, funny, and fueled by a frenetic old-school car chase.

But writer-director Shawn Simmons derails his own momentum by introducing too many characters into the mix. Jermaine Fowler turns up as a so-called “Chaperone” for the heist. Lynch’s Perm inexplicably becomes the main antagonist instead of Nico. Steve Zahn, wasted as Edie’s father, barely registers, while Randall Park delivers a standout cameo. Unfortunately, Simmons neither has the sharpness to pull off an Ocean’s Eleven-style caper nor the resources to mount a bombastic Fast & Furious spectacle.

What’s left is a directionless crime caper. The final act delivers some thrillingly staged chase sequences, with Edie evading both cops and Perm, but even the kinetic action can’t save the film. An awkwardly placed “epiphany” Edie has about John feels forced and tonally inconsistent, draining what little momentum is left.

Samara Weaving, to her credit, elevates the material. She’s convincing and magnetic despite the script’s flaws, standing out as the film’s only real strength. Glusman is serviceable as the useless ex, while Garcia coasts through for an easy paycheck.

If you’re in the mood for a heist film about a getaway driver, skip Eenie Meanie and revisit Baby Driver instead. This one’s destined to be forgotten—another pulpy, disposable streaming title.

MOVIE RATING:

Review by Linus Tee