MEET MONICA VELOUR DVD (2010)
SYNOPSIS: Kim Cattrall shatters her sizzling SEX AND THE CITY image as a down and out '80s porn superstar, Monica Velour. Her number one fan, 17-year-old Tobe Hulbert is an offbeat, virginal geek with a love of old movies and a passion for 1930s jazz. With his fast-food wiener-mobile ready to go, Tobe will stop at nothing to meet the object of his raging hormones' desire: Monica. He finds her and discovers that her life has fallen to pieces. Now, he's dead set on putting it all back together, whether she likes it or not.
MOVIE REVIEW:
If you want to know what happens after you have ‘Sex and the City’, well then come find your answer in ‘Meet Monica Velour’. A passion project of lead star Kim Cattrall, the actress takes a daring leap by unglamorising herself for the role of a has-been porn star named Monica Velour that’s as far from her fashionable cougar days in the hit HBO series as can be. But surprise, surprise- Cattrall pulls off the transformation admirably, putting on weight and showing off her newfound love handles while nailing her character’s emotional ups and downs.
Unfortunately, first-time feature film writer/director Keith Bearden makes the movie less about Monica than about a geeky awkward 17-year-old called Tobe (Dustin Ingram, who had a supporting role in this fall’s Paranormal Activity 3). Socially inept and a big time fan of Monica Velour, the Napoleon Dynamite clone has just graduated from high school and is clueless what to do next with his life. It doesn’t help that his grandfather (a wasted Brian Dennehy) keeps nagging at him to continue running the family hot dog business that’s already a dead fish in the water.
So Tobe decides one day to set out on a trip to see his idol Monica, after stumbling onto a website that announces she will be performing at an Indiana stripclub for a one night exclusive. Turns out Monica’s star has fast vanished, and the over-the-hill XXX celeb is now living in a trailer park while trying to fight for custody for her daughter. And just as you’d expect it, this turns out to be a tale of one naïve teenage boy trying to help his older (read- much older) wannabe girlfriend find purpose and direction in her life.
Even if we accept its clichéd premise, embracing the coming-of-age tale of Tobe is a tall order- especially since Bearden doesn’t know how to make him stand out from the rest of the teenage social misfits we’ve grown weary of from movies like ‘Adventureland’ and ‘Youth in Revolt’. Ingram inhabits the role without making it truly his, and the result is a character that feels superficial and never really relatable. And because the movie chooses to unfold from his perspective, it pretty much runs aground.
It doesn’t help that the intended romance between the 49-year-old Velour and the 17-year-old Tobe already strains credibility- as Velour herself exclaims, ‘I’m old enough to be your mother!’ Still Bearden insists that we accept the attraction between porn star and porn star fan, their first date a firework-filled affair out in the open fields that ends in Tobe losing his virginity. The connection between the two characters never feels real enough, and what is meant to be a tender and poignant affection between them only comes across contrived.
Because the drama lacks heft, what is left is Bearden’s tongue-in-cheek porn references, especially an X-rated parody of Star Wars where Hans Solo becomes a jerkin-off Hands Solo, Princess Leia becomes Princess Lay-Me, and the stormtroopers are really Cocktroopers dressed in cock-shaped costumes. It’s easily the funniest part of the entire movie- pity then that there is too little of these amusing guffaws. In fact, the movie pretty much ambles around without much momentum, except when it tries to spoof those corny porn movies of yesteryear.
That’s unfortunate, because the best parts don’t showcase Cattrall’s ballsy performance, commendable for both her courage and her ability to disappear into a role that’s far from that her fans will be familiar with. Cattrall however is also to blame, since she was the one who championed for Bearden to assume writing and directing duties on this movie- and in either aspect, the newcomer lacks the skill to make such a quirky story work. Unless you’re a die-hard fan of Cattrall, you can skip this meeting with Velour.
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Kim Cattrall and writer/director Keith Bearden both contribute to the film’s Audio Commentary, where they share many interesting filming experiences, particularly in overcoming the movie’s budget constraints. Neither are however very animated speakers, so you may find your mind wandering off from time to time.
There are about 8 mins worth of Deleted Scenes, nothing pretty substantial except for some additional time between Tobe and his grandfather
AUDIO/VISUAL:
The Dolby Digital 5.1 uses mostly the front speakers for its dialogue, while leaving the back speakers working only during Andrew Hollander’s score. Visuals are especially strong on the colours, though the clarity needs some work.
MOVIE RATING:
DVD RATING :
Review by Gabriel Chong
